Wednesday, 10 May 2017

Goldilocks and the Three Bears: My Spin

Goldilocks and the Three Bears: My Spin
Once upon a time. One day in the forest she went to get her friend from her house they all got lunch to go in the forest. When she got there her friend said we should
go and get some flowers for our mums.When we got to the forest we started eating our food. We all shared some food altogether. We went to go and get some flowers. my friend got purple,blue flowers. The sun was going down so me and my friend went to my house for a sleepover. The next morning we went to go to the lake for a swim.It was freezing cold then we had lunch.  We all  went for a walk in the forest. There was beautiful birds singing. when me and my friend saw something we went over there. When we got there she  said let’s go. Make sure you be quiet so we don’t wake it up. so when we were  going my friend step on a stick. then it woke  up.   we started running together. Shouldering  out loud so they can hear us. We climb up a tree then we were quite. I said is he gone then my friend said who's this gabby slime on me. So we look up and there was the giant.We jump out of the tree we all scream and run back to our house we said it gone now. Then my mum said what gone a giant mum. A eye ball was showing by the window next to mum  what that. Go outside now. we got out  of the house. The big  giant picks us up i said let us down.The giant said i just wanted to makes some friend.  You don’t need to chase us or scare us that's not how you make friends. So you weren't chasing us at all.  No   so the giant was friends us.We all went to go for a pinice near the lake. It was getting late so we all went home.
       The end


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. Hi Maria,
    My name is Lini and I am year 8 student at St Pius X Catholic School.
    I really like your writing and the amazing vocabulary that you have used but maybe you could re-read your writing to see if it makes sense but other than that keep up the great.

  3. Hi Maria, my name is Kaliamata from St Pius X, i really like how you have put a lot of different vocabulary in this piece of writing, something that you could improve on is to re-read your writing before posting. Keep up the good work!!